How to Give a Romantic Gift – A Guide For Men
You know it’s time to be romantic, it’s OK to admit that you’re not quite sure how. Maybe you’re out of practice, or maybe you’ve never been IN practice, it’s never too late to learn, and no matter how romantic you are now, every women wants even more romance in her life.
Before you begin, consider your motivation. Why do you want to be romantic? Is it because there is something you want, or is it because you want to build or deepen a relationship with someone special? If your motivation is purely selfish, give up now.
Get started by paying attention to what she says and does. Being romantic is a way of showing that there is a special relationship between you. You are telling her that you have been listening to what she says, that you understand what she likes and dislikes and that it’s not all about you. For example, most women will not thank you for crude or transparent lingerie or nightgowns with dubious cutouts. If you think of a romantic gift as something that proves how well you know and understand her, you won’t go far wrong. High quality lingerie, made to her measurements and in her favorite color is always a hit.
Romance is applicable at any age. Everyone enjoys a silly present now and again, so if you can afford it, by all means buy a stuffed animal or something as a joke gift for Valentines, or better still for no reason at all, but these are not serious ways to say ‘I love you’ especially if you’re not a teenager. No, I’m not saying that gifts have to be expensive to be romantic because they don’t, but if you are a man of means then spending as little as possible on a gift isn’t going to send the right message. Similarly choosing something that is just a generic romantic gift, scented candles, chocolates, with no personal aspect, shows no respect for the lady or the emotion. Have respect for the woman and for what you are trying to say.
Think of the message you are sending. Don’t just say ‘I love you’ say ‘No-one understands and loves you like I do’ and prove the point by giving a gift that’s personal to you both. For example, the first wedding anniversary is traditionally the ‘paper’ anniversary. Gifts are easy to find; a book, a set of notelets, but they are equally easy to personalize. Choose a biography of her sports hero or favorite actor/actress, or if she’s very practical an excellent ‘how to’ book about her favourite hobby. Other very personal ideas might be a history of her home town, a travel guide or picture book of where you went together for your honeymoon, or at the other end of the price scale, two tickets for a cruise to somewhere she has always wanted to go, or revisiting somewhere you went together when courting or first married. A picture in a lovely frame also makes a great ‘paper’ anniversary gift, it might be a picture you took on a trip you made together, or it might be a old picture of her great grandmother you’ve had restored and framed because you know how much it means to to her. In contrast, a gift certificate is paper, very practical and allows her to get what she wants; its romance content however is close to zero.
Although prestige should not figure in this equation, we are all human, so it does. Think about the occasion AND think about where she will receive your gift, and take appropriate action. Take Valentines day as an example. If your loved one works in an office with a lot of other women, remember that any flowers you send will be seen and commented on by the rest of the office. If what you can afford won’t look good, choose a different gift, send her something in a box.
What does she think is important? A romantic gift given for no reason at all is valued more than one given on the conventional dates, like birthdays anniversary and valentines. She may forgive you for nothing on Valentines day knowing that you both value your anniversary more. This is fine, but you have to be sure you are in tune. When in doubt err on the side of giving, rather than not. Many women will tell you that they are OK with being given something practical, especially when money is in short supply. Never fall for this. Using the ideas above you can find SOMETHING that is romantic, personal AND inexpensive. Give her the practical gift she asked for and then add the small romantic ‘extra’.
Whatever you hear to the contrary, romance is not just for the young. It is the cement that holds a relationship together at any and every age, and that fact alone means you should be romantic for purely selfish reasons. Like sex, it’s a serious subject that shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Think of it more as game, but remember it’s a game that you really need to play.
By: Lesley Charalambides
